Reddit users who were fed up with their wife’s sudden lack of desire to do household chores have every right to feel that way, but experts tell Fox News Digital that the problem may have a deeper cause. he said.
“Did you tell your wife to do housework by AITA?” asked Reddit user “Anteater1500” in a post on Reddit’s popular subreddit “Am I the A–hole” (AITA) on Saturday, May 4th. did.
In the post, he revealed that he is 24 years old and has been married to his 26-year-old wife for four years.
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“I work as a consultant, so I need my period.” [of] I work about 70 hours a week, about a month,” wrote Anteater1500.
Now, he said, he’s in one of those times.
The Reddit user said his wife (not pictured) told him to do chores after he told him the house was too cluttered and he felt overwhelmed.
The man said that since the couple does not have children and do not work, the two usually share the housework, with the wife doing more of the work.
“But on weeks like this, I hardly do anything because I’m mostly standing and moving around for 10 hours a day (no weekends), so when I get home I collapse on the couch and then get ready for tomorrow. ” said Anteater1500. .
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Recently, however, a man’s wife said she was not doing “even 50%” of the housework, but the man said he was “okay with some.”
“Everyone has their ups and downs, but I’ve never had a problem with a dirty house. I microwave frozen food and don’t eat for dinner,” he said.
However, his wife came to him saying that she was “overwhelmed by the clutter in the house” and asked him to help her with more household chores.
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“I’m not home for about 12 hours (including commuting and lunch breaks), so I don’t really care about the appearance of my house,” says Anteater1500. “I said if you want to keep the house clean, you can just do the housework.”
However, this did not go down well with his wife.
The Reddit user said he works 10 hours a day, with no weekends, and his wife doesn’t do normal housework. Still, he said, she was upset that her house was a mess. (St. Petersburg)
“She was tight-lipped and told me to stop because I was under a lot of stress. I went straight to sleep and woke up. [at] I woke up at 6 o’clock and went to work at 7:30 before she got up,” he said.
A few hours into his shift, he received a text message from his wife expressing disappointment in her response to needing help.
“I’m doing my job, so is it really that unfair to expect her to do my job?”
“I know she’s stressed, and so am I,” he said. “But I’m doing her own job. Is it that unfair to expect her to do her own thing?”
Anteater1500 wrote in a follow-up comment that he keeps putting dishes in the dishwasher, throwing things out, and putting laundry in the laundry basket, and that he usually does his own laundry except during stressful work periods. I wrote that there is.
Fox News Digital reached out to Anteater1500 for the latest information.
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A therapist told Fox News Digital on Saturday that his wife’s reluctance to clean the house may have deeper causes than just being “overwhelmed.”
Rachel Goldberg, LMFT, founder of Rachel Goldberg Therapy in Los Angeles, told FOX News Digital in an email that “there appears to be a fundamental problem in the relationship.”
“She may be growing resentful of his absence or lack of attention and expressing this by neglecting chores to get his attention, signaling that something is wrong.”
He said the Reddit user and his wife (not pictured) typically split housework 60-40, with the wife doing more of the work around the house since she doesn’t work outside the home. said. (St. Petersburg)
While it’s “understandable” for husbands to expect their wives to do more around the house during busy times, “it’s important to start the conversation to understand why wives aren’t contributing as much,” she says.
“Both countries need to talk together about how to deal with this situation, and he will be able to emphasize the importance of a partnership of equals,” Goldberg added.
She continued: “It’s important to find a solution that works for both of you, whether that means increasing your household responsibilities or exploring other avenues such as employment.”
“Whether it’s increasing her household responsibilities or exploring other avenues such as employment, it’s important to find a solution that works for both of you.”
Reddit users generally agreed with the therapist, saying that while it’s not wrong for Anteater1500 to want his wife to fulfill his responsibilities, it seems like something else is at stake.
In the AITA subreddit, users can reply to posts and post comments such as “NTA” (“not an A–hole”), “YTA” (“you are an A–hole”), “NAH” (” ”). There’s no “A-holes Here”) or “ESH” (“Everyone Sucks Here”).
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Users can upvote answers they find helpful and downvote answers they don’t.
Most of the 600 or so replies to this post so far said that Anteater1500 is an NTA but needs to figure out what’s going on for their marriage.
“If one partner is working and the other is not, it is natural for the unemployed partner to take on the lion’s share of the household finances. Your wife may not be in school or starting a business. Because you say so,” user “ClackmasLivesMatter” wrote in the most upvoted response.
Many Reddit users said that Anteater1500 wasn’t wrong when he told his wife to do housework, as that was their mutual agreement, but that there may be something deeper going on with her. Ta. (St. Petersburg)
The same user continued, “It begs the question, what does your wife do for more than 10 to 12 hours a day while you work?”
The same poster added, “If you can’t resolve the issue even after talking, it would be a good idea to seek marriage counseling.”
In another top comment, ‘Fancy_Cheek_4790’ wrote, ‘I can’t believe two adults would make that much of a fuss. I want to know what’s going on with her. Is she resentful, angry, depressed? Are you there? Are you lonely?” he wrote. . ”
“I can’t believe two adults would make such a fuss.”
One user had another suggestion. “The wife should find a job so that the couple can hire a housekeeper.”
User ‘chez2202’ wrote: ‘There’s a simple solution. If she doesn’t want to do housework, offer to get a full-time job. That way you can use some of the extra money. “I can then ask someone else to do it.”
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“Not only will she no longer be able to clean, but other people who need jobs will get them,” chezz2202 said. “Win-Win-Win for the three of us.”
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