Dear Abby: Last year, I met a foreign guy through the internet. At first, we talked every day through video chat. We have a lot in common. We never struggle to keep a conversation going and we can sense each other’s feelings and needs effortlessly.
As our relationship has matured, our contact has become less frequent. Freedom from phone calls has made me start to question how wise it is to continue pursuing a future together. Though we’ve never met in person, I feel he is a truly wonderful person I can trust. I would even go so far as to say he is my soulmate.
But there’s always a question in the back of my mind: Is it crazy to think this is real? Is it too good to be true? And if I don’t pursue it further, will I miss my only chance at lasting love? — Matching in Michigan
Dear Matched: This is not your “only” chance at lasting love. You still don’t know if this is real or too good to be true. You found this person online, so you need to be cautious. If possible, plan to visit his country. That way you’ll have a chance to meet his family and friends and observe his living situation. If he’s real, he should be welcoming. But if he’s hesitant, consider that a major red flag.
Dear Abby: My sister and I are educated professionals in our late 40s and live in different states. Due to my father’s declining cognitive and mobility, my parents sold their large house in another state and downsized to a senior living community near me. I live in an affordable area. I am attentive and reliable, so living nearby made sense. I often helped my parents and in-laws in the past.
My sister decided to see my parents’ move as them choosing me over her. Initially, she didn’t speak to me. When I emailed her to ask why she hadn’t contacted me, she said my emails were “not a priority for her.” In another exchange, she told me she hoped her husband, who was undergoing treatment for a heart condition, would die before she could vote. After that, she stopped speaking to my parents. In our final email exchange, she told my mother to cry on the shoulder of “the daughter she chose.”
My sister has behaved similarly towards me in the past, but she has never rejected my parents. She used to call my parents often, but they are sad that they can no longer talk to her. I don’t know if they will ever be able to reconcile, but it is painful to see my sister behave so cruelly during this time of extreme stress. What do you think? — Georgia’s Brother Drama
Dear Drama: Your sister’s attempt to punish you and your parents for the decision only reinforces that they made the right decision. I’m sorry that she succeeded in causing you all pain, because none of you deserved her overreaction. By avoiding you, she only succeeded in isolating you from those who care about you.
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or PO Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
