A private island is never what you expect.
That is, in the cinema.
A group of 20th-century pioneers face a harsh reality in “Eden,” Ron Howard's madcap desert melodrama, which premiered at the Toronto International Film Festival on Saturday night.
Based on an incredible true story, this film about a man taking on the elements is reminiscent of the 1929 season of “Survivor.”
As residents forge alliances, trade sex partners, scare off wild pigs, and face off against terrifying villains, humanity is at its most bestial. In the end, there will be a winner – a Sole Survivor, if you will.
Howard and screenwriter Noah Pink took the liberty of telling a corny tale about Floreana Island, then an uninhabited island in the Galapagos.
The first to arrive are German couple Dr. Friedrich Ritter (Jude Law) and his wife Dora (Vanessa Kirby), whose Swiss Family Robinson-esque adventures become the talk of Europe when his letters are published in the newspapers.
Inspired by adventurous courage and trying to escape the rise of fascism are Heinz Wittmer (Daniel Bruhl), his young bride Margaret (Sydney Sweeney), and their son Harry (Jonathan Tittel), a stolid bunch of Germans.
When the Whitmers reached land, they were distraught to discover that it was not a Club Med: there was no disco, just two freshwater springs and difficult terrain for farming.
But with American Gothic asceticism, they begin to build a shelter and a new life, albeit without any help from the Ritter family, whose philosophy is hostile to newcomers.
Unfortunately, there will be more intruders in the future.
Hot on the Whitmers' trail is Héloïse Bosque de Wagner-Wehrhorn (Ana de Armas), a self-financed baroness with the blank look of a serial killer, attended by two gentlemen, Rudy (Felix Kammerer, the fine star of All Quiet on the Western Front, who could easily be in a bigger movie) and Robert (Toby Wallace), with whom she sleeps, making the loudest noises in her sleep.
The evil Eloise, who makes Goldfinger appear calm and cautious, wants to build a luxury hotel called “Hacienda Paradiso,” a nod to the Fyre Festival, from the start.
Everyone hates everyone else, they steal food, they envy each other's homes, and sometimes they even threaten their neighbors' lives. When a baby is born and Hollywood filmmakers arrive, the dangers only increase.
All of this craziness actually happened, but in my imagination it just made the conversation a little awkward.
When oil tycoon and film producer George Alan Hancock arrives, Eloise asks him, “Do you live in Hollywood?”
Hancock responded: “Hollywood is mine.” What a verbal anvil.
But “Eden” has always been an interesting film, and it's made all the more interesting by its top-notch cast wallowing in the mud while looking incredibly charming.
These actors have big personalities, but their differences compound their animosity: de Armas' Baroness is the epitome of indulgent gluttony, annoying Law and Kirby (who always seems in a trance), the thoughtful, free-spirited academics; Law's Doc is a sneering goofball, and the actor excels at it.
Sweeney has played some of the most unconventional roles, from Euphoria and romantic comedies to full-on housewives. The actress is magnetic and delivers a birth scene so wild it would make Shonda Rhimes take her hat off to her.
De Armas' character, while totally eccentric on paper, needed to be made a bit more human: She has one sweet, fleeting interaction with Harry, before quickly reverting to being the Wicked Witch of the Eastern Pacific.
She's as funny as ever. Howard has just made his most entertaining and creatively successful film since Frost/Nixon? He's not back to his 1990s and 2000s heyday. There's an undeniable vulgarity to Eden. But it's refreshing to see him let his guard down and not take himself so seriously.
This hellish island served him well.
