Parents are experimenting with their children’s kindness and empathy through the popular TikTok “Cookie Challenge.” In this challenge, one parent is left without cookies to observe how their child reacts.
Some little ones are quick to share their cookies. For instance, a mother expressed her curiosity about how her daughter would respond, saying, “I was intrigued to see the different versions of the cookie challenge and how my daughter reacted.” She described her daughter as sensitive and empathetic, sharing a story about how she often gets emotional over the extinction of dinosaurs. So, the mother thought her daughter might end up sharing her cookie.
In their attempt, the parents tested their four-year-old, Maven. When she realized that her mom was the only one without a cookie, Maven paused, considered the situation, and suggested her mom could “get one from the target.”
“She’s been insightful for over four years and is really driven by sweets,” the mother noted. “I figured I could create a happy moment with the cookies, but of course, it didn’t come at her expense. Her thought process has always been unique, and this wasn’t any different.”
Meanwhile, Hannah Cook from Nashville, Tennessee, witnessed her son Judas’s emotional reaction when he saw his mother without a cookie. After a brief moment of hesitation, he handed her a cookie. Hannah captured this touching moment in a video that has now garnered over 90 million views, captioning it with, “True empathy. Love him so much.”
However, can such cookie tests really gauge a child’s empathy? According to Mary Margaret Fair, a clinical social worker in Dallas, the answer is likely no. She explained that true empathy is complex and requires a certain level of cognitive development and emotional intelligence that grows throughout childhood. “There’s no scientific basis for using this challenge as a measure of empathy or anything else,” she stated.
Fair pointed out that basic empathy typically begins to manifest in children aged two to four, but generosity and greed are not inherently linked to this. “What we see in these scenarios are more about learning behaviors rather than true empathy,” she clarified. “While some children may grasp these concepts earlier, learning can definitely occur within a structured environment, guided by peers or adults.”
Other aspects can also influence how a child decides to share during such challenges. Fair shared that she works with families from diverse socioeconomic backgrounds, mentioning that food security, mood, time of day, and relationships with parents can all play a role in these decisions.
The conclusion from the Cookie Challenge seems to be merely an indication of whether a child is willing to share cookies at that particular moment. Fair reiterated, “From my perspective, that’s about it. It’s just a fun family activity.”
Hannah Cook echoed that sentiment. “Every child is unique and develops differently,” she reflected. “Judas is just two, and our expectations of him are quite low at this age, but it’s encouraging to see that the values we’re instilling are taking root.”
