Dear Abby: Six years ago, during my 40th high school reunion, some classmates inquired about my first love from high school. After we broke up, I made it a point to find her, which I managed to do through Facebook. It was interesting to discover that she has never married. I let her know I’m married now, and we rekindled our friendship, although we’re separated by 3,000 miles.
We enjoyed a solid friendship for a few years. We exchanged stories, and I offered both financial and emotional help. She mentioned lately that she is in a long-distance relationship with someone who works on an offshore oil rig. However, when I probed for more details about him, it seemed to me that he might actually be a scammer. I picked up on the usual red flags and tried to express my concerns to her.
Despite my warnings, she maintains he’s real and is the love of her life, insisting they intend to marry—even though they’ve never met in person. Then, I received an email from her that included some harsh words regarding my comments. I reiterated my worry for her safety, cautioning her that this man may not be who he claims to be and could be running a romance scam.
Now, I haven’t heard from her at all. It feels like it’s not just a high school fling anymore; I genuinely still care about her. What should I do? — sweet scent of california
Dear Lover: Unfortunately, the scenario you describe is indicative of a common romance scam. Scammers often fabricate stories about being in remote locations, like oil rigs or war zones, which prevents them from direct contact. They usually create elaborate backgrounds to elicit sympathy—like claiming to have children who are away at boarding school or a deceased spouse. The emergency that follows typically leads to requests for money, sometimes in the thousands. Sadly, after the funds are sent, the scammer disappears.
My suggestion is not to be surprised if she reaches out once the scam becomes apparent to her.
Dear Abby: My husband and I are in our 60s. He has a habit of walking around our house in just his underwear while watching TV or having meals. I’ve come to terms with this over the years, and it hasn’t bothered me until now.
When our granddaughter visited us at one year old, I asked him to wear shorts, but he didn’t put on a shirt. She’s now two and a half and is visiting again. Shouldn’t he put on a shirt and pants when she comes over? He values your opinion. — Mr. unofficial wife
Dear wife: Since your husband respects my views, please let him know that I think it’s fitting for him to wear shorts and a shirt when your granddaughter is around, especially unless it’s sweltering outside.
Dear Abby was created by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and originated from her mother, Pauline Phillips.
