Reflections on Pride and Identity

“We’re here, we’re queer, get used to it!” I still remember shouting that at a demonstration back in 1990. It’s interesting—no, surprising—that by the 2010s, many straight Americans not only accepted “queerness” but came to embrace it in their lives.

Growing up as a young gay man, my experience often felt like an indoctrination into victimhood. I was led to believe that typical straight men wanted to see us harmed, perhaps jailed.

Fast forward to 2026, and we see heterosexual men engaging in sexual behaviors that were once the domain of homosexual men. Casual hookups and the pursuit of apps to “meet” have become typical for many young straight folks.

Everything Is Gay

Modern media is a testament to this shift. It used to be that you would need to hunt down an “art film” to see any beefcake action. Now, you can hardly watch a sitcom, drama, or crime show without seeing gay storylines—whether it’s a sex scene or a monologue where a young actress discusses her identity.

Some actions that “normal” people undertake today, like, well, surgically altering their children to “change their gender,” are astonishing. They seem to eclipse even the wildest behaviors seen in New York nightclubs back in the 1970s. For years, young girls have been dressing and behaving like over-the-top drag queens, while guys boast about their “gooning” sessions, which is essentially solo play at a computer.

It seems America is fully on board with the “gayization” of everything, all the time.

A Parade of Depravity

The obsession with rampant liberalism and sexual narcissism in the straight world has become something we’ve not witnessed outside of urban gay enclaves. What’s more surprising is how swiftly this change occurred.

Where did this transformation stem from? What drove this evolution?

I think I understand: it certainly has roots in the influence of gay men—RuPaul’s Drag Race being a prominent example. As a 51-year-old gay man who has deliberately lived a conservative lifestyle and remains single, it’s rather astonishing to witness traditional society adopting behaviors I see as detrimental. Honestly, I feel grateful that I found a way to sidestep that trap.

I have witnessed experiences that are hard to articulate. What used to exist only in dark nightclub corners now struts boldly down Main Street USA.

And I mean struts—have you been in a major city in June? What used to be called “gay pride parades” has transformed into a “pride month” celebration, stretching several hours once a year.

What began as a humble appeal for dignity and equal rights has morphed into a public display of behaviors and lifestyles that many once deemed suitable for the private sphere, even within the gay community.

My Pride Is Disappearing…

Now, it feels like anything goes. Even the most unconventional fetishes are paraded on the streets, sometimes with children in tow. I often wonder, why do parents bring their kids to such events?

Pride, in its traditional sense, can be seen as an expression of personal superiority that oversteps boundaries and places oneself above traditional norms. Today, modern pride often seems to call for public affirmation—a “look at us, celebrate us” attitude—rather than a more private, “leave us alone” sentiment.

Reflecting on my own past, I realized I got swept into gay activism far too early, especially coming from a troubled family. Like many children from difficult homes, I fell into early alcoholism and risky behaviors. The impact on older gay men who’d watch us felt almost predatory.

My adolescence collided with the end of the AIDS crisis, a period largely influenced by choices made within the gay community itself. At the time, I was too young to grasp that reality; it was just easier to blame government inaction, particularly President Reagan’s response, for the community’s struggles.

The Trap of “Accepting”

I was conditioned to believe that being a young gay man meant accepting a narrative of victimhood, believing that all reasonable straight men wished to suppress us. The perception was that we had to gather in secretive corners because society forced us into the shadows. The reality? We were often just following our tendencies toward risky behavior.

Having lived through what many would call an “exciting” gay lifestyle, I recognize that under the guise of compassion, some adults draw vulnerable youths—often survivors of trauma—into a shallow world of sexual freedom and hedonism. Unfortunately, this sets a precedent for future generations to repeat this cycle.

Public acceptance fosters this cycle and promotes its growth. There was once an instinct to keep such behaviors discreet, but now, voices that advocate for restraint feel almost like whispers, as if discussing a taboo.

Perhaps it’s time for America’s non-“queer” majority to forge their own liberation. To emerge from the shadows, pointing out the boundaries our society has historically upheld regarding what behaviors are, or should be, accepted publicly. Perhaps it’s time to assertively declare, “It’s here.” And really, get used to it.