Dear Abby: Cancer and Family Dynamics
I am facing a cancer diagnosis that I’ve almost anticipated since my teenage years. My family’s health isn’t great; my mother, who is 100, has some functions left but is quite frail. I shared my diagnosis with my children, and I suspect they may have mentioned it to their kids. My husband and my closest friend know about my situation, and the doctors believe that since they caught it early, there’s a good chance for a cure rather than just prolonging my life.
My mother has asked for my help, but I really can’t fly across five states to see her because my immune system is weak. Now I feel like she and some cousins might be blaming me for not being there.
I want to forgive myself for not visiting my mom, but I’m hesitant to burden her with my diagnosis. Even if I have only five years left, I can’t shake the feeling that I’ll outlive her. My health issues complicate things further, and I’m worried I’ve disappointed her. Help! — guilty in washington
Dear Guilty: Your mother, despite her frailty, can still do some things. It’s important to tell her you love her and do what you can to support her, explaining gently that her doctor has advised her against traveling due to her compromised immune system. You don’t need to mention “cancer” unless she presses the issue. If she’s as caring as you believe, she might ask, and then you should be honest with her. It might actually help your relationship if you share this with her.
Dear Abby: A Suspicious Encounter at a Store
Not long ago, I had a concerning experience at a big department store that felt like a potential scam. When I walked in, I saw a sharply dressed young man chatting with a clerk in the jewelry section. He was still there 30 minutes later when I was leaving.
As I was heading out, they approached me and asked if they could use my store card to buy some jewelry for cash. There was a sale on jewelry that required a store card with a nearly 50% discount. I inquired about applying, but the representative claimed I had already applied and been denied.
When I hesitated, both he and the clerk reassured me they would pay me back in cash right away. I appreciated the offer but felt uncomfortable with the idea, so I declined. He was gracious and thanked me regardless.
The more I considered it, the more red flags arose. If he intended to return the jewelry, he would need a receipt that included my card number. Did I escape a tricky situation, or was I just being overly cautious? — Georgia gut reaction
Dear Gut Reaction: It’s always wise to be cautious. Those individuals might have been involved in some sort of money laundering or credit card fraud. Trusting your instincts was the right choice; there’s a reason you have that gut feeling!
